Local news in brief: Man wears hat

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Residents of Belvoir Street, Oxbury were left in shock today as a man was seen walking down the street wearing a hat. The event, which occurred in the early hours of the early hours, startled homeowner and part-time pigeon racer Albert Talbert. “I’ve never seen the likes in years,” Talbert said, whilst eating a Digestive biscuit. “A man. In a hat. Walking down the street like he owned the place!”

The last time a man was seen wearing a hat in the Oxbury area was in 2008, just prior to the outbreak of the banking crisis. As of yet no firm causal link has been established between the two events.

Oxbury CID are appealing for witnesses who may have seen the man in the hat and are attempting to trace his whereabouts. There is no firm description of him, but he is believed to be wearing a hat.

The police have issued a warning that members of the public should remain vigilant and not approach any person wearing headgear without prior establishment of their motives.

A hat, but not *the* hat.
A hat, but not *the* hat.

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