Category Archives: Announcements

What’s coming next

Just a quick update on what’s happening with the blog. After a little bit of an absence you may or may not have noticed a new post on Mass Effect Andromeda appearing here the other day. This is hopefully just the first in a bit of a flurry of more frequent updates. As well as the more lengthy reviews of current titles, I’m going to also have some regular feature-ettes, ideas for which at the moment include:

  • Am I the Only One Who Remembers… – Looking at some games from the past which never get written about anywhere else because they weren’t popular enough.
  • I Didn’t Get Where I Am Today Without… – A small series on the games, films, books, TV series and events that shaped the horrendous facsimile of a human being I am.
  • Burn in the Fires of Eternal Torment… – Want to know what the worst things I’ve ever encountered are? Perhaps because the Internet has proven to us that people like reading or hearing about bad things much more than good, which is some terrible damnation of Mankind in and of itself? That’s lucky, because that’s what this will do.

And there might be more, as well as some random funny stuff. Hope you want to stick around and, hey, bring a friend! No, not that one. A nicer one. Preferably Swedish.

Oxbury Historical Society – New lecture season

OxburyHistoricalSociety

 

The Oxbury Historical Society invites all those interest to its latest season of lectures:

March 18th: William the Conquerer and his amazing technicolour dreamcoat.

March 25th: Spanners in the Holy Roman Empire.

March 29th: Aztec cameras.

April 2nd: Mussolini and Ulrika – the secret affair.

April 7th: The fall and rise of Charlemagne’s empire (ballet version).

April 14th: The significance of the whelk in the Third Reich.

April 16th: Funking up crop rotation – disco in the middle ages.

April 19th: ‘Why were some many French kings called Louis?’ and other boring historical questions.

Lecutres are held in the Graeme Taylor Theatre, Oxbury University.
Admission: £3 adults, £1 children/OAPs (not both). Dead historical figures get in free (except Richard III).

Urgent Recall Notice

Samoshoddy Motors, Uzbekhistan
Model no. A13279/A/X – the Carzakhstan
Sold exclusively in Europe by Dodgy Al’s Motor Emporium, Oxbury

A problem has been identified with the above model. It has been observed that, under certain circumstances*, the engine and floor may become dis-attached from the remainder of the vehicle, possibly incurring bodily harm to any passengers and their shoes. Owners of this vehicle should cease driving it immediately and carefully push it back to the place of purchase (being Dodgy Al’s Motor Emporium, Backalley Way, Oxbury) where they might receive a refund and a free goody bag containing a whistle.

*: Circumstances include, but are not limited to: heavy rain; light rain; drizzle; high temperatures; low temperatures; acceleration; braking; speeds in excess of 23.1mph; overly-vigorous door-closing; selecting reverse gear; Tuesdays.

Samoshoddy Motors – 65 years manufacturing sub-standard motors under communist oppression.

Cancellation Announcements

Cancelled: Fulton village cheese-rolling contest due to sudden lack of hills in the area.

The Oxbury Women’s Institute lecture on the Apathetic Society has been cancelled owing to lack of interest.

Carol Jessop MP will now not be speaking at the Naysboar Rotary Club. She has been replaced a female impersonator.

The female impersonator referred to in the cancellation above has now had to cancel. They will be replaced by a male impersonator impersonating the female impersonator.

The Grand Vizier of the Cult of the Unwashed Rhino would like to announce that he is unable to ascend to the immortal plane and become Mighty Overlord of All Creation on Tuesday as previously promised since he now has a dental appointment.