Cancelled: Fulton village cheese-rolling contest due to sudden lack of hills in the area.
The Oxbury Women’s Institute lecture on the Apathetic Society has been cancelled owing to lack of interest.
Carol Jessop MP will now not be speaking at the Naysboar Rotary Club. She has been replaced a female impersonator.
The female impersonator referred to in the cancellation above has now had to cancel. They will be replaced by a male impersonator impersonating the female impersonator.
The Grand Vizier of the Cult of the Unwashed Rhino would like to announce that he is unable to ascend to the immortal plane and become Mighty Overlord of All Creation on Tuesday as previously promised since he now has a dental appointment.